Egg retrieval

I marched into the ART center at the hospital today armed with a bag full of necessities.
-Adhesive heating pads
-Tylenol
-Panty liners
-A good book
-Comfortable clothing
I was a bit nervous about the egg retrieval since I clearly remembered the pain after the first one.  The kind of pain that makes you writhe, the kind that makes you want to run away from your own body.
I laid quietly in a hospital bed for the first 1 1/2 hours of my stay at the ART center, hooked up to an IV, meeting a plethora of health professionals who would soon see my goodies, and answering the questions "What’s your full name?", "Date of birth?", "Social security number?", "Are you allergic to anything?" over and over.  Which, I don't mind.  I don't want anyone to mistake me for Michelle or Trisha down the hall.  But, the anticipation was killing me.
Finally, they came for me.
I was rolled into a sterile operating room with stirrups, surrounded by people I'd just met, shamelessly naked under a too-loose hospital gown and asked to position myself on the table with my legs in the stirrups.  Exposed.  Before I could pass out from modesty the anesthesia got me.  Thank God.
I woke up to the soft laugh of my friend who came with me.  Apparently I'm quite repetitive when coming off of anesthesia and just couldn't seem to thank the staff enough and remind them of the great job they did.  Then, the pain.  Then, the Demerol.  Brief relief, more Demerol.  Vicious cycle.  But, I finally got the good news.  They aspirated 16 eggs.  I'm happy with that.  I'll learn over the course of the next several days how many fertilized, how many are developing properly and when my embryo transfer will be.  I'll be getting a phone call every day about the status of my little embryos, and I'm praying for good news.
In the meantime, I'll try and shake this awkward posture the pain in my lower abdomen is causing.  It's very Disney movie villain.  Try and work through the pain with heating pads and Tylenol, take my medication and stay busy enough that my days fly...hopefully.

Follistim, Menopur and Cool Mint Oreos...Oh My!

My ovaries deserve a pat on the back.  They're workin' hard and puttin' in over time, so I'm paying them in cool mint oreos.  Which, are brilliant by the way.
First off - they didn't sabotage my cycle this time by prematurely ovulating.  And now they're growin' follicles.  And doing an amazing job. 
Informational Insert: In IVF they keep up with the measurement of your follicles while using and comparing all kinds of scientific information that would make my brain explode, until the body proves its ready for them to retrieve multiple eggs.  
After 3 nights of stimulation meds my follicles jumped from 7 to 11.  They're lookin' for anything between 18 and 21 in order to retrieve.  So, I'm gettin' closer and in a very short amount of time.  They scaled back some of my meds in order to control the stimulation. (I was on 150 IU of Follistim and 2 amps of Menopur...but, they're cutting the Menopur back to 1 amp)   Hopefully I'll be scheduled for egg retrieval Sunday, Monday or Tuesday.  I've got another appointment on Saturday, so I'll know better then.
Now, for the down-side.  Injections hurt.  I don't remember them hurting so bad my first cycle, or maybe I've just aged a lot since last year and my skin is closer to being paper thin and prone to unexplainable cuts.  Or maybe its because the dosage is higher this time.  Or maybe I'm just a cry baby because I'm hopped up on hormones.  Which, by the way, do make me a crazy lady.  I'm forgetful, ultra sensitive, tired, have occasional headaches and just generally unpleasant.  Probably best my husband is deployed for this part.
Ohhh, look at the time!  I gotta run, it's time for my remedies...adl..adlfkjaw...asdkfjkawmekcnlaseropl

Trust Him, He's A Doctor...

Between surfing through online support communities and good old fashioned googling, I’ve come across some pretty interesting things.  In order to increase their chances of success with IVF people start acupuncture, laser acupuncture (?), hypnosis, Royal Jelly, shots of wheat grass, Bee Propolis, a vegan diet, deep breathing techniques, self-help/motivational reading, and a plethora of other supplements, fads and magic.

I understand it.  I do.  I just can’t subscribe to it.

Yes, a healthy lifestyle is…healthy.  Good for you, good for biological processes.  I agree.  But – I don’t think the party-girl who gets accidentally knocked up (7 times) is hopped up on dark leafy greens and self-improvement reading.  Think we can blame that one on the al-al-al-al-al-alcohol.  

As for me, I’m doing what I was before.  Watching what and how much I eat, exercising and laughing.  My doc says to not take any other supplements outside of a prenatal - so that’s what I do.  I trust him, he’s a doctor- and his reputation in the fertility community rests on the shoulders of my success.  At what point is a team of highly educated trained specialists, a $10,000+ procedure and thousands of dollars worth of specialized medication just not enough?  Is the pimply faced 19 year old at GNC or the power crystal peddling love child really in on some kind of hidden truth about pregnancy through IVF that my doc isn’t?  Its superstition and the ever-present guard against it, when we should just be saying Inshallah.

What I’m trying to say is if you’re out there, and you’re going through IVF minus the Royal Jelly, “The Secret” and hypnosis – you’re not alone.  If you’ve found yourself raising your eyebrow at the thought of using a push-pin to relax – you’re not alone.  And, if you find yourself feeling slightly bad about being so skeptical – well…on that one, you might just be alone.

My Milkshake Brings All The...Specialists To The Yard?

Condoms.  Birth control pills.  Morning-after pill.  Spermicide.  All my sidekicks during the years I spent focusing on preventing pregnancy.  The years during which I thought alcohol was the leading cause of pregnancy.  The years before I met a man who had it all, including a vasectomy.

No problem, right?  A reversal will fix that.  Hey, even the Army will pay for that.  Until we found out that you get what ya pay for.  No success.  That was in '09.

Next step - IVF.  Only first we've gotta get a sample from my husband, that means he's got to undergo yet another ball surgery.  The MESA.  Check - 2010.

Since my husband officially had frankenballs and we finally got the coverage for IVF, we began.  First cycle was a bust.  Big. Fat. Negative. Second cycle, cancelled. 
Now, I’m starting our third cycle.  Alone.  My husband is deployed to Afghanistan and I'm here on the home front.  The hormonal, crazy-lady home front.

At this point, I'm on the antagonist protocol.  (I speak IVF)  I'm on the Nuvaring - which is quite the experience by the way.  It's this creepy little ring that just seemed to disappear inside of me.  Couple that with the break-through bleeding that requires a tampon and the occasional dildo ultrasound and it's like a treasure hunt in my pants.

I've got my next appoint on the 10th.  Dildo ultrasound, hopefully no cysts or signs of ovulation, and then I'll begin the stimulation meds.  I'll give myself injections in my stomach for nearly 2 weeks and morph into Mr. Hyde...Mr. Hyde who cries...a lot.

But, the juice is worth the squeeze.